My low period

Despite religiously taking my anti-malarials and trying to remember to spray myself with insect repellent I found myself covered in mozzie bites and being diagnosed with Malaria. I didn’t feel well for days, suffering from tiredness, loss of appetite, stomach pains and on/off fever, and my lovely colleagues Bassey, Comfort and Emilia were nagging me to go to the clinic. In true naïve British style I was convinced I was just tired so I took a few days of rest first, which included a trip to the cinema to see the final Twilight movie! After having a ‘funny turn’ during one of the no nepa power failure breaks I met the lovely Nomzy who convinced me to go to the clinic where they discovered I had malaria parasites in my blood. So I took a course of 3 day medication, and still really didn’t get better – so returned to the clinic where the malaria parasites had increased in number so I found myself admitted and attached to an IV quinine drip! 24 hours, 3 doses of quinine, the (thankfully temporary) distortion of my hearing, and several arguments with the medical staff (!!) I was discharged home. My lovely friend Roda helped me home and made sure I had food to eat.

My stay in the clinic was fine, it was clean, the treatment was fine and my lovely friends Emilia, Roda and Nomzy all came to visit me and cheer me up! A few of my “friends” let me down and were not there for me during this tough time, but a lot were and its always challenging but for the best to know who you can count on and who will run away when times get tough.

Sadly during the time I was sick I also found out my lovely Nan was also sick. It was horrible to think of her being in hospital whilst I was also in a hospital. Sadly as I began to slowly recover from the malaria my Nan deteriorated, she caught pneumonia and passed away a few days later on 25^th February. I will miss her so much and am so sad that she won’t be there when I return home. But I’m also glad she’s no longer in pain and is reunited with the love of her life, my Grandad. It gives me great comfort to think of them being together again – I know she missed him so much. I’m glad I got to say bye to Nan on the phone before she died, I know she heard me and recognized my voice, and she knows that I love her so much.

The Monday Nan died I think if I’d had my passport and there was a flight leaving Calabar I would have been on it. I felt like I’d made the wrong decision coming here and desperately wanted to go home to see my family. I missed my mum, dad, sister and little Jack so much. It was definitely the worst few days I have had here – there were many tears and doubts about my decisions. I almost hated Calabar that day and wanted so badly to be home. But deep down I knew that it was not the real way I felt and that I would regret leaving. The illness and grief were distorting my views.

I chose not to go home for the funeral – it was a difficult decision and one helped by talking to my mum and sister. Returning home to sadness will not give me the lift I selfishly need and I’m not sure I’d have the emotional strength to get back on that flight to Calabar and leave my family again and I didn’t want to put my family through another goodbye at Heathrow airport.

What I need is a holiday, relaxation and the company of a good friend – so Cameroon and lovely Leanne here I come!!! Cannot wait to get there!