Cannot
believe how quickly time has passed and I’m celebrating my 5 months arrival
anniversary! I’m still glad to say I’m loving my time here in Calabar and have
no regrets about leaving my London life. But I am really missing my family
& friends more and more and the lack of internet has made skype impossible
for a few days L
What I love
most about Nigeria is still the people, I’m still amazed how the children near
where I live get so much enjoyment from waving and shouting good morning at me
every day, the smiles and “welcomes” I get from people, the kindness and
generosity shown to me as a total stranger! I still find it funny for taxi
drivers to compete about who gets to have the Oyibo in their taxi and the fact
they all know where I need to be dropped off! And having famous footballers
wanting to snap with me in a club also amused me no end!
The
confidence of Nigerians also amazes me – I wish I had the ability to promote
myself and have the self-belief that people here have. It’s ok to dance and
sing in public, to chat to anyone, to do whatever you want to do. I admire that and wish I could develop that confidence and lower my inhibitions more.
I also love
the music and the clothes of the people here in Calabar. I regularly enjoy
myself clubbing and dancing to the wee small hours and am amassing a larger
wardrobe full of vibrant and funky prints! There is always plenty to do and I
have such a lovely group of friends here and am always meeting even more lovely
people. I’d say that was the biggest advantage of being an Oyibo here – you are
so noticeable that you stand out and people will come and start a conversation
with you! As a reserved, uptight and shy British lady other people approaching
me makes it so much easier for me, a smile is all the encouragement I need to
give and that will pretty much always lead to a conversation and friendship.
What do I
find challenging? At first I said the food and also the lack of power! I now
find myself entirely used to the fact that there is not always power and find
myself doing the “nepa” shout of joy and running to plug everything I own in to charge
as soon as light comes on! The food - I’ve become used to not being able to
have what I eat at home and am becoming more adventurous in my purchasing of
food (I finally brought meat from the market myself!!!) and in what I’m
cooking!Though I still have the occassional dream about food!
For me now
the challenge is some of the cultural differences that I’m beginning to notice
more as time passes – as relationships deepen and my role at work becomes more
involved I’m rapidly still trying to learn how to behave at times, what to
accept and challenge, and what works here and what doesn’t. It is tiring
everyday thinking about how I behave and what I say and not totally ever being able
to understand where someone is coming from or vice versa. One of the biggest
advantages is also a disadvantage – being white does not give you the
opportunity to easily blend in, it can be great for establishing new
relationships but there are days and times where I wish I was less conspicuous
and visible. On days where my “Britishness” is at its highest I find myself
uncomfortable by the attention and embarrassed my lack of understanding about
what to do / how to behave, and sometimes frustrated that my mind and experience doesn't fit. I’m beginning to find out it’s hard to live outside
your comfort zone for a length of time and the differences sometimes show more
the closer you become to people.
For those
that know me well, compromise is not something I am particularly good at (at
least I know this though....), and every day and every new relationship needs
that compromise that I find tough. This is now my biggest challenge and I hope
that I can grow and learn this art and maybe become a better person for it.
But despite
the challenges the good always outweighs those difficulties and I find myself
still starting and ending pretty much 99% of my days with a smile.
